CRITICISM

Image result for NEGATIVE CRITICISM
Source: Huffingtonpost

People wonder…

Why leave?

Why leave the people that actually love you,

The people that cherish you,

The people that saw you take the first step?

The people that you hold so dear in your whole existence.

 

The people that encourage the whole world yet destroy you with criticism,

The people that see the good in everyone else yet destroy your will to do because they expect you to make no mistake,

As if you’re an angel with a halo,

Yet you wear a tag that says “Not good enough”

Anything and everything you do is passed through a shredder,

A vocal one that tears up everything you do, say or plan to do into nothing,

In fact it is reduced to how bad you did it, or did not do it, even before you attempt,

You are considered a failure!

Who does that you say?

Everyone.

 

Everyone who sees the wrong in you.

The flaws in you and force you to see it also.

Everyone that expects perfection yet it’s impossible,

Everyone that fails to see your effort and focuses on your failure.

Everyone that picks everything you do wrong and nothing you do wrong.

Everyone that thinks you are living their life and preempt every failure they did and tries to protect or prevent you from making mistakes that you probably should.

Everyone that makes you walk on egg shells every time they appear.

Everyone that makes you afraid of living and make you fail at being yourself,

Everyone that thinks they are helping you by protecting you from the world,

Everyone that thinks failure is the end of life,

But what is life without mistakes.

 

We live to learn don’t we?

I mean why would someone criticize you to a fault?

Day in day out without your permission,

Why would they make you so small in their eyes that you eventually see yourself that way…?

Why would they make it a vicious cycle that is passed down?

A legacy of sorts.

Why think that someone will turn up like you?

Are they you?

 

Why forget to nurture and remember to criticize,

They say when things go wrong…

How about when people go wrong and you are the common factor around those people,

I mean think about it!

Everyone moves away from everyone who makes them feel crippled,

I say everyone but let me say you…

You are on your own because you destroy your own and build others,

When people look at you and call you a failure…

 

Who made you that way?

Who allowed it into you?

Who watered it and tendered it?

Who embraced it and made it alive?

I call it criticism.

Plain hard knock criticism.

 

The words of judgment you spew on someone because they don’t measure up!

The pointed blithering comments and backlash because they are not the same,

Off course they will never ever be the same!

Look at an artist,

Unkempt, rugged, not your piece of cake but the work they produce Delicious!!!

Yet skew someone because of their outlook.

Criticism…

Stop it now!

Image result for CRITICISM

(Further reading: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-labermeier/negative-impact-of-criticism-_b_3829346.html)

#Something Borrowed

Image result for flower half pain half sad
Source: HD wallpapers

PROLOGUE


In the past few weeks, I have learnt a great deal about life, happiness and pain. Though I might claim to have “learnt”, life looks back at me with a sneer and calmly points at the future and the cloud of uncertainty that hangs over its shoulder.

Lesson 1:

Small little fragments of a day are defined by the levels of happiness or pain that come with it. Not joy, not sorrow, not friendship, not love and definitely not success.

Lesson 2:

Happiness vs Pain. The perfect trade-off is seemingly impossible to find and actually pain mirrors happiness but with a slight cringe.


Let me tell you a story…

 

Pain…

The deep seated deeply rooted,

Despicable emotion,

You feel it when a dagger pierces your heart,

In different forms,

Par example…

The process of childbirth brings with it a gruesome pain,

That am told women never remember,

If they did… then,

The world would be empty.

 

Heartbreak,

It come’s about without sending prior information,

Alert messages or a beep,

She says goodbye by physically presenting her new catch,

And you have to get the memo,

By force…

All of a sudden you can’t sleep at night or think of eating,

It’s her arms you see,

Wrapped up around another man,

Her jolly façade you see looking lovingly at the new guy on the block!

It’s her legs you see held up in his muscular arms,

Spinning her round and round,

In a video,

The frustration of being left leaves a huge gap.

Is he better than you?

More loving than you,

Sweeter to her than you ever were?

A better listener than you ever were?

You tell yourself,

“Don’t sweat it bro!

Try harder get a rebound just to prove your masculinity”.

 

Death…

Where do you begin?

When someone you truly loved takes their last breath,

And all you have is deep seated darkness,

That cannot be masked,

No words can express,

The tremendous loss of time,

The date you never kept,

The time you never made,

The busy schedule.

 You couldn’t block out investors or clients,

 Now a worthless lot who cannot replace your lost love,

As they speak you hear nothing,

See nothing nor feel nothing,

The pain numbs you,

Only resuscitation can restore you,

Loss untold they call it.

https://shirusdiary.wordpress.com/2015/10/05/loss-untold/

To be continued…

 

Happiness…

The feeling you get when she says I love you first,

The compulsion when you win the Sport Pesa jackpot,

It’s the feeling you get when…

Your child takes the first step,

Your dear parent blesses your marriage,

Your baby smiles back when you giggle,

Your new guy makes time for you,

Your business soars,

Your boss gives you a pay rise,

Your child reminds you to be simple.

It’s the temporary outlook to life,

Because only Joy is permanent,

Happiness and pain coexist,

Your outlook is what matters,

If it’s been too much pain happiness is coming and vice versa.

Choose wisely which one you hold on to more.

 

Image result for happiness pain
Source: EmilyQuotes

*Par example (French) – For Example

The prologue & lessons are borrowed

From a dear friend’s (B.B.K) composition.

The Ugly Face of Tribalism

Image result for tribalism
Source: Spur Festival

Picture this,

You have just had an awesome day!

Laughed with friends,

Ate a whole lot,

And made a lot of new acquaintance,

Then all of a sudden you step out,

And for a moment your tribe becomes a channel,

For every grievance an individual has with “Your people”

 

Listen…

“Your people are so domineering,

I mean men don’t have a say in your community,

Your culture is maternal,

So your men go around having kids outside wedlock,

And don’t bother to take responsibility,

After all the women take all the responsibility”.

 

You keep silent,

Because you have no answer to such accusations,

As far as you are concerned it’s at night and all you want is to get home,

But will the individual stop? No!

“Your women are very enterprising,

That we all agree,

But my father constantly tells me,

Please don’t bring a woman from that tribe because they will kill you,

And take away my grandchild,

I’d rather have you alive than six feet under,

And with wealth your killer wife will hoard to herself.

 

Your people even casually talk about death,

They acknowledge that a man can work hard,

And just before he can enjoy his wealth,

The woman take’s him out,

Have a look at all the buildings in this area,

They are owned by widows from your community who murdered their husbands”.

 

You shake off the disgust you now have,

Of how someone can feel so at ease,

Subjugating your people to you,

As if you are all of them,

But you still say nothing,

Allutta continua….

 

“ My very own friend,

When they called home to say they have a baby,

First question was,

What tribe?

You see… it’s all over,

Everyone does not like your people,

And I don’t know how we’ll change it?”

“Your people are even endorsing their own tribes in political parties,

How come’s? Yet we have your tribe in ours?”.

You keep silent.

 

“Your people do not share the national cake with us,

You continue to marginalize us,

Yet expect us to live in peace and unity!

Imagine a scenario,

Your mother always gave you five hundred Kenyan Shillings,

And always gave your sister ten thousand Kenyan Shillings,

Would you be at peace?”

 

You now give a blank look…

Which the individual interprets as carry on and so does…

“You see there’s a company that was shortlisting for jobs,

And the criteria was to remove our people,

Only until someone queried and it came to light,

Hence corrected, yet they were qualified and removed,

Because of their tribal affiliations of the HR”.

You begin to feel uncomfortable because surely,

This individual just cannot stop a moment and breathe,

Just heaving tribal hate…

Image result for tribalism
Source Ghana News

 

You get home and think of all the possible answers you could have given…

The best take’s it home…


“Dear Individual,

I wish I could change your perception of our people,

But I know you can’t,

All your life you have been fed with stereotyped views,

Of who my tribe is and what they represent,

I pity your outlook”.

 

“Why do you not see the help the said people have accorded you?

They helped you look for the house you live in?

They gave you the table you now write on,

They continue to host you whenever it gets lonely,

They even give you a ride to town…

And when you spew tribal hatred you have never gotten a retaliation of sorts…

Why don’t you see that?”

 

My piece of advice to you,

“Why don’t you examine for yourself?

Give people the benefit of doubt,

Put aside your ethnocentric views,

Having lived among your people,

Why did I come back richer in culture, lingua and perception?

Why did I only bring good reports?

Why did I not see what I had heard?

Why was I loved?

And it saddened them to see me go?

Why the hatred?”

 

“Walk a mile in the shoes of my people,

One at a time, because no size fits all,

This being an election year I choose not to answer you in person,

Because anything I say to you will surely be used against me,

I hope you get to see people for their own individual attributes,

Not tribal origin…

And there I rest my case”.

 

I am not my Tribe,

I am Kenya.

Image result for tribalism
Source: eLimu

Eye Candy

Source: Pinterest

They all seem to like her,

The attention, the winks,

The edgy conversations,

The beeps, the dates…

The short term pursuit of her.

 

The queer comments of her beauty,

The endless questions on her tranquil marks,

Her inability to see love,

Her ability to live alone,

Inability to recognize love.

 

The clothes, the jewelry,

The rings she wears,

The bracelet she never takes off,

The independence of thought, word, deed,

The grasp of self actualization.

 

The fact that she leads a crazy life…

She laughs, smokes, drinks, does weed,

Call her your escape route from stress.

She dances like a magician,

Takes your breath away.

 

Her touch is like silicon dust,

A rare gem that enthrone’s the king in them,

Her smile like melting ice cream,

Makes you gasp for breath,

Her eyes shine a tunnel of light their way.

 

All of a sudden she’s all they understand,

All you long to know,

Hope to bag as their own,

But the race is full house,

They are too many.

 

They fall out one by one,

Her A team falls to pieces,

And all she see’s is the one she’s drawn to,

But his heart is stolen,

By another she-wolf.

 

One that understands it takes two to tango,

Yet he…

Sweeps her off her feet literally,

Forces her to chase after him like a blood hound,

Makes her loose her insanity,

Makes her hope to be better,

Makes her drop her league of suitors.

 

Yet her efforts go unnoticed,

To him she’s not it,

She’s not the wife type,

Not his forever girl,

A matter of fact she’s a nightmare.

 

So tall walls are built,

To lock her out of sight and mind,

To ensure her desperation rises,

To make her look not so pretty,

To destroy her self-esteem…

Tear up any decency in her.

 

Still she rises,

Makes you jealous every time she walks by,

As if his constant comparison did not break her enough,

She finds her niche,

In making them loose their sense of power.

 

Through her subtle ways,

Her short dress, long legs, cute face,

Pucker lips and dementia inducing gaze,

Her walk that makes them neurotic,

Her curvaceous body.

 

Her sun filled persona,

Her flip-switch that catches you off-guard,

Her once in a while kindness,

That she hides behind a strong-willed  aura,

Her ability to imprison their mind like a shell…

To them no matter how close he comes,

She is…

Eye Candy… Yummy.

 

Image result for oozing chocolate
Source: neurogourmet

#Closure

Image result for closure in a relationship
Source: Ascended relationships

It’s when she knocks his door,

Knowing full well she’s trespassing,

The uninvited guest,

That show’s up without a call,

To see the one he’s attached to,

Emotionally, metaphysically and rather metaphorically.

 

No she never kissed him sensually enough,

Nor gave herself over to him fully,

She was afraid of love,

Because she didn’t know how to…

She took too long to believe love,

That came blurting her way.

 

While she counted her good fortune,

It was stolen,

Like a carpet is pulled away right under your feet,

And you lose balance,

Falling painfully,

Losing your bone density.

 

Sadistic views,

Perhaps let me iterate,

Sally… loved Berserk,

He was crazy and fun,

Made her forget herself,

Made her long for another shot of his heroine love.

 

But now all she had was to contemplate leaving,

The closed door that begged her to open,

The leather shoes that made her wonder his shoe size,

And how they had same taste.

 

The new mistress’s sandals that mocked,

Her inability to keep him,

Her inability to be called in.

Her capacity to savor his bullshit,

Her constant thoughts of him,

Her insurmountable effort to make amends,

After she left his nest devoid of love,

Pun intended,

Her choice to be the manipulated lass.

 

She thought it was her boat to row,

But now it had capsized her will,

To ever believe in true love or speak of it,

Her eyes told the story of ice cold rejection,

Coupled with pointed lies,

That pierced her soul to a nasty fault.

 

‘Just maul me already!’,

Was the cry of her smart mind,

So as to free her stupid heart,

That fell for Berserk who couldn’t see,

Beyond her steel exterior,

Beneath which a frightened girl resided.

 

A girl taught to put love aside,

A girl made to put everyone before herself,

A girl given to see her shortcomings,

A girl who questioned love,

A girl who sabotaged her power to love,

A girl who took a while to show herself.

 

Now she was faced with a tumultuous decision,

To bolt and cry him a river far away,

To sit at his door and sulk till morn,

To see her predecessor,

To ask a bunch of questions,

But chose to remain dead silent.

 

At this point choosing to walk away,

To turn away from Berserk in an awkward situation,

Was a mogul of utter softness,

All the more she couldn’t shake off an instinct,

That she was being played by fate,

So she made her way to him only to find deep-seated & heart crunching closure…

Source: Robert Dale

 

 

Source: AZ Quotes

 

Shame

Source: Sacrosanct Gospel

A five letter word,
That describes internal battles,
Often unstated,
Smothering your very being.

It’s the feeling when you told your boyfriend,
Your two months pregnant,
And he rejected you,
Because now your a slut,
How does he know it’s his?
After all he didn’t tell you to say yes to him…

Or did he really?
He was only trying to see how far can he go.

Its the feeling you get when you’ve left the abortion room,
Because you know dad will kill you,
Mum will bury you,
Because you were pregnant and the guy left you.

It’s the feeling you get,
When your sited with your hubby ,
In the doctors room,
As your pronounced barren,
Due to the womb you mutilated as a young girl,
To cover up secret sins,
And all hubby can do is throw you out,
For hounds to devour you,
After all you are not his anymore.

It’s the feeling you get,
When everyone expects a baby from you,
And now your living in the guest house,
Until you get a place to live,
Because mum and dad will not take you in,
Until you tell them what you’ve done,
But you have yourself tongue tied.

It’s the feeling you had when you were sitting all alone,
On the cold floor,
Nursing abortion wounds,
As a young girl,
And all you thought was death is near.

It’s the feeling you have when you’re standing in church leading worship,
Yet know what you did,
To still be a member,
To lead people into the Holy of Holies,
Now you feel like everyone can see right through you,
As you cry and kneel they think it’s surrender,
Yet you are asking God not to slay you dead,
Because he knows what you did last summer,
And every hour for that matter.

It’s the feeling you get,
When your friends keeps pestering you to host baby showers for them,
When you can’t have one of your own,
You rest your case.

It’s the feeling you get when your visited in hospital,
And the doctor says bluntly you attempted suicide,
That they have to keep an eye on you,
Yet all in you is just the silence of death’s grip that you now desire,
Hubby is gone, motherhood is gone, service in church is pretense,
What is life For?

It’s the feeling you get when your labelled depressed,
And you have to see a shrink,
Tell them who you really are,
What your fears are and the whole string of interrogating questions,
That you now rehearse because it’s same ol same ol everyday.

It’s the feeling you get,

When your hubby walks through the door,

And finds you in his brothers arms,

Who always seems to treat you better,

But now you have awakened a roaring lion in him,

Scores to settle.

It’s the feeling you get when you finally whisper,
You are  living  in…
Shame!

Source: The Pool Life

#Tribalism

Source: DanaBlankenhorn.com

This is a vice,
Used to destroy and bring up walls,
An enemy of progress,
Today I’ll tell my story…
Just a glimpse into the tip of the iceberg…

I moved out of a cosmopolitan town,
Went deep into the interior,
A part of Kenya I had only seen on news,

Never paid close attention,

Small town, real public health perspective an eye opener,
I will not mention any names,
I was so naive and off course this smile that I carry never wipes out,
So I was jolly.

When I didn’t know what they were saying,
Couldn’t follow I just smiled on,
I came to work and deal; build my experience,
Until interactions began and the ugly face of tribalism greeted my white broad-minded self.

“What’s your name?”
I would say,
“No the second one,”
I’d say and dead silence would rock my boat,
It’s like a taboo had been committed,
There came my first quest to omission and I’d stick to just *Laurie C.

Like an all white party…

Then the next,
“Where do you come from?”
“Nairobi off course,”
“No where Is home?”
I’d say it and My goodness conversations ended right there.

Then came the rides to and from work 87 kilometers 1 hour 13 minutes to be precise,
And Political conversations would come but of course with my name and tribe I could not say a letter,

let alone a word of contribution,
Zipped.
Next was omission of Political affiliations,
I stuck to “Am with You!”
“Clever girl” they’d say,
“Your very *mjanja!”

Then off course came the offers to date me,
The opportunity to know me,
I loved the place,
The people,
No traffic,
No squeezing on streets I loved It!

The ability to thrive in *biashara.

But I felt the threat everywhere I turned,
My tribe this… and that,
And I was like “Oh God!,
Why can’t we all just get along?!”
I came to look for cheddar,
All we want are good homes, security, shelter & luxury name it,
The finer things in life!

Never have I felt so inferior due to something I cannot change or erase,
It has left a scar too deep for words to express,
When your hated for things your tribesmen did when You weren’t even in existence,
I will hold close the golden nuggets and break free of this need to live in defense,
After all aren’t we all here to live free, think freely and love freely!
Holding someone in contempt due to tribe!
Seriously…
Lets grow up!!!!
Or is it retard back to childhood?
Even kid’s don’t see color, race or tribe that’s what we should adopt!
No today! Not in  future,
Right this moment!
But I have never gotten down to a narrow minded place where its’ no longer about self development,
Nor self actualization,
But about Self protection and constantly defending yourself to deaf ears,
I love all!  Despise none,
Coming here taught me a life long lesson,
Tribalism is a disease of the mind not the heart because those who think by heart love all and embrace all!
So here goes!
A little girl!
Now no longer naive!
Now built like steel!
Saying goodbye to a town she’ll dearly miss and off course the people!
The therapeutic free culture,
But turning back because, life is more precious than the search for cheddar,

Tribalism…
Let’s quit this!!!

Part 2

I loved the town once more,
Still do,
The rich culture,
The love for luxury that grew my business from simple stuff to luxurious item’s,
For this am forever grateful.
My world view expanded,
I saw beauty in diversity,
Even spoke a few words,
That would make them thrilled,
I’ll forever miss this place, the simplicity, the love for exquisitely done things.
I will forever remain adventurous,
Next destination,
Youth is brill!
I am not my tribe.
I am Kenya!!!
Source: Memeburn
Source: Dekh News
*Laurie C. – not my name
*Mjanja – Cunning
*Biashara – Business

Riding On Thin Ice

Source: Deviant Art

 

She kept second guessing herself,

Why he would never choose her?

The messages that weren’t replied,

The cryptic conversations,

The unanswered calls,

The unfulfilled dates,

The doubt of self,

The assurance of loss.

The conveyance of constant doubt,

The ability to make her despise herself,

The inconsequential heartbreak,

That you can’t be hers,

She’s too familiar with your ways,

Time has aged the air of mystery,

That should exist,

In newly made dates.

You call the shots now,

Continuous stringing along,

Because she fell in love,

With the one who took care of her,

Stood by her in her greatest night,

The thought of death stole away her life,

But you gave her reason to live,

She managed to break even.

Then you painfully detached,

Unaware you were her emotional crutch,

Every day she questions,

What she did wrong,

Yes she rejected you,

Not once or twice a million times over,

Now she’s begging for attention,

But it’s no longer at her disposition,

She’s been allocated left over time,

But understand the woman brought up in every conversation,

Was not her,

Never will be in reality,

Did her inadequacies make her less a woman?

Should she admit it’s all her damn fault?

For all to be made right?

Should she come to your door?

Just to see what part she fit’s in?

Should she lie in your arms?

Knowing by tomorrow you’ll dismiss her?

Should she drop by lunch?

And sit for just an hour then leave?

Feeling miserable she only has a one hour slot?

Should she scroll through your phone?

To see her current competition?

Should she give over to silence?

Should she say I love you first?

Then take in the rejection?

She’s the crazy bitch,

Who won’t let you off a missed date,

Who’ll straight up tell you you’re hurting her,

She’s the one who keeps it real,

She’s the one who will answer to your calls,

Even when hers went not responded to,

She’s the one who’ll defend your shortcomings,

She’s the one who take’s time to trust and love,

She’s the one who takes a while to show love,

But deep inside she yearns for every bit of him,

The good, the bad, the ugly…

She’s the one who cares too much,

The one who constantly wants to hear your voice,

The one who goes silent when she’s hurt because her words go unheard,

She’s the one who loves genuinely,

She’s the one who’s tired of hearing about her,

She’s the BFF who refuses to stay one,

She’s the one who loves you truly!

She’s the one who doesn’t try to fix you,

In an effort to let you be you,

She gets a catastrophic hit,

She’s the one left out of your heart,

Because she’s not affectionate,

She’s the one who has seen your goodness,

And rejection all at a go,

She’s the one who shed tears,

Every time you’d fail to see her off,

She’s the one who regrets spending time out,

The distance destroyed everything,

Taught her she had to let go.

She’s the one who voices her thoughts,

One on one,

Not channel through text,

Because your opinion matters,

Yet hers don’t!

Just because you keep her at arms length,

Her heart is truly yours,

Because like a fool,

She’s riding on thin ice…

 

Source: Deviant Art
Image result for girl longing over a guy art
Source: Lynet McDonald (@ArtByLynet)

The Intern

Image result for intern illustration
Source: Shutterstock

 

He labors tirelessly throughout the day

Spends his time taking all orders,

Juggling them all at ago,

Like he was born multi-tasking,

Never being referred to by his name,

Just “Do this and that!”

Intern chronicles.

He enters before his boss,

Manages all his tasks,

Yet underpaid, over utilized,

And at everyone’s disposal,

He never complains, ever cheerful,

Actually makes your day brighter.

He has a girlfriend,

On the verge of leaving,

Because he cant make end’s meet,

And you know it,

But you also had it rough so he can carry on.

You lure him into working longer hours,

Promising overtime that you eat take out with,

He doesn’t need it because your doing him a favor,

Intern equals boss power.

So you press him hard,

Squeeze the ideas out of him,

Present them as yours,

He’s your elevator pitch!

They clap at your brilliance…

You even get an employee of the month award,

You smile in the close up!

As the intern becomes frustrated.

What if he was a she?

She struggles to make ends meet,

She’s your catch for the money trap,

You lure her to your week long meetings in Naivasha,

Offer to pay her stay, but in essence she’s in your bed,

On company sponsorship… but to her it’s your money,

After all you’re the boss who drive’s the latest kompressor,

She’s the intern whose heart you play poker with.

Her presence in your office is serene,

She helps you in everything,

She even gets your tea,

Organizes all your files,

Even reminds you to adjust your tie,

She’s the feminine touch you lacked in your office.

Until she tells you she’s pregnant…

And you hand it to her like an ice berg to the titanic,

“Did I tell you to be careless?”

And she shed’s tears as she reminds you,

Your terms of no protection because you’ve left your wife,

And you laugh with disgust as you throw a bundle of notes her way,

Commanding her to rid herself of that thing!

After all her career had only just began and you could fire her with a day’s notice,

Intern chronicles…

She cries as she leave’s your hurtful presence,

Boss turned lover, now a heartless beast,

Propelling her to shame.

To you she’s like the rest,

Desperate interns who want to have it all at any cost,

So you play your cards right then call the shots,

Letting her go is just the usual,

Another innocent one will come,

After all… you storm HR and request for a new intern,

“This one doesn’t seem to get anything right,”

And you walk out with your pride lifted a notch higher.

She is sent away, jobless, voiceless, undignified.

To figure out how to raise the bosses child all alone,

Whom she had loved with all her might,

Bent over backwards to please,

Now that abortion wasn’t her set of keys,

She chose to have the baby anyway and give him up for adoption,

Now back on to career as she wonders of his life,

The child she gave up,

Now an intern but much much wiser,

Smiles at her new boss but never interacts after hours,

Even the young men around her seem to like her,

The pretty intern chronicles endear…

 

Image result for intern illustration
Source: Eric Stynes

She Never Felt Good Enough

Image result for never good enough for him
Source: Whisper

She was always number two,

Never ever one,

Second to her ways, her love, her persona,

That was rather unknown to her,

Competing with the unknown.

Just subtle hints of,

Oh… she was so… this and that,

Perfect is the word!

She did things like this and that,

She was such a thriller for you,

Your ultimate lifetime and all time love!

Enough!

Of the heart piercing comparison,

The constant blithering aura of her,

That you seem to like bringing up,

In every conversation,

It’s always about her, never about the girl,

That’s by your side through thick and thin,

Trying to live up to someone you’re fixated on.

Undeserving is how she would feel,

Every time you would raise your eyebrow,

With disinterest because it’s not her,

The golden standard, trophy girl,

You’ve put on a pedestal,

For all to see and bask enviously in her perfection.

It has always been a shudder for her,

Because when she walks back into your life,

You lose all reason and follow after her,

Forgetting the new found flower you’ve literally plucked a dozen petals,

Of hope!

The hope of you being hers,

Hope of “forever together”,

Hope of growing in love,

Hope of building an empire,

Hope of infinity,

Totally Non-existent…

It will always be her kisses you miss,

Her forlorn embrace,

Her enduring soul,

Her smooth skin,

Her dark deeds to have you all to herself.

Current status, Single,

Onto complicated,

Then getting back together,

Now stringing alone,

Finally back on!

And the one beside you has to constantly pack and go,

Leave the place love is scarce,

To lick her wounds in solitude,

As you constantly tell her how good she is,

But Mrs. Not you just stepped in,

So keep your distance,

Because she’s it!

Collateral Damage!

Her heart dips in a million angles,

Pointing to doubt, despair and finally anguish,

She doesn’t get why not her,

Always your former,

Fighting loosing battles,

That she can never win.

How does someone shadow your experience?

Something felt only by you?

Known only to you?

Felt only by you,

Never a match for you?

Unreasonable is the word.

When you call it quits today,

Then go back to her tomorrow,

Then come back again when waves rise,

And all of a sudden your new catch is quite,

A soft cushion for you to crunch on,

The rip apart when done,

Reject her from all angles,

Head on back to the one holding you hostage.

Because forever more…

She was never good enough for you.

Image result for girl in tears
source: Whoa!